I would like to encourage and challenge you to view every painful experience in your life through the filter of "for the good."
My day started with mild gastric complaints. IBS-C and Endometriosis will do that to you no matter what you eat or how much you eat right. Five minutes after crawling out of bed, the anxiety set in. My husband told me storms and tornadoes were heading our way. Anyone who knows me knows I hate inclement weather. I hate driving to work in said weather even more.
Teaching was long that day. Hearing To Kill a Mockingbird seven times a day until we finish the novel is less than thrilling. Hearing my other half-brother tested positive for meth and was headed to jail was worse. He'd just gotten out of prison Friday, less than a week ago. Wouldn't remembering his dead sibling who just passed from an overdose make him want to change?
This was the norm, I suppose. When you grow up in a broken family, events like these are typical. To outsiders looking in, they appear like TV shows. Every time I watch Riverdale, scenarios in my life flash before my eyes. My mom and I agree our lives could be a reality televised event. I know my family and I aren't alone in these unfortunate circumstances. Yet, tragedy and grief come in waves. Sometimes they are calm and peaceful, keeping to themselves. Other times, they're tumultuous and powerful, destroying everything in their midst.
We Can Be Worn and Still Be Warriors
Recently, the Lord has laid a message on my heart that I want to share with those of you who can relate to this type of suffering. In the last decade, the number of physical and mental conditions I've battled is stifling. I should be a warrior by now. Yet, more often than not, I feel worn, weary, and wounded. My armor is faded and breaking.
Today, as I look back over my life, I'm in awe. These things I've experienced were not, and are not, good. Many people experience the same and worse. There's nothing good about pain, tragedy, trauma, or abuse. What is good, however, is how our God can take what the enemy meant for evil and turn it for good (Genesis 50:20).
Joseph knew this lesson well. Like myself, Joseph didn't understand the purpose of his abuse when he was living it. As he grew through it, however, it was something he learned. This is why he says in Genesis 50:20, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives" (NIV).
Romans 8:28 has been my life verse since childhood. Only Jesus Christ can take the atrocities I've lived through and turn them for good. At the time of pain, we're often unable to comprehend this. Physical and mental anguish blur our vision. Knowing that God can use what I've experienced to help others, no matter how painful, reaffirms my purpose here on earth.
For the Good
I would like to encourage and challenge you to view every painful experience in your life through the filter of "for the good." Let me be clear: Your tragedy isn't good. Your suffering isn't good. Your pain and trauma aren't good. The fact that God can use everything, even painful experiences, for our good and His glory is.
I'm not asking you to forget your trauma or ignore its existence. Doing that can cause more damage. We must process, grieve, and seek to understand. But, we can also allow God to transform these painful thorns in our lives for the good. Sometimes, it just takes time. Time to process. Time to grieve. Time to heal. And then time to see them for the good (Ecclesiastes 3).
Learning to understand the trauma and pain we experience through the filter of "for the good" isn't easy. Mental and physical challenges are real. I wish I could remove them from the earth. As someone who's experienced and continues to experience both, I can attest that it is agonizing. The beauty of looking back over my life and seeing how God used everything for my good, however, changes my perspective. It gives me an eternal view. Comfort. Strength to keep running this race. Why? Because I know I can bring Him glory.
Psalm 40
Psalm 40:1-4 (NIV) opens with these words: "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him. Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods."
David's reflections here are deep, raw, and of the heart. He's not afraid to be real with God and with us about what he's experiencing. He acknowledges the trauma, the tragedy, the disaster. Then, he declares triumph.
When we face trials, tragedy, trauma, and abuse, we wait patiently for God to make His presence known to us. We ask Him to deliver us, save us, or take the suffering away. This process is often slow and painful. Patience indicates that suffering can last a long time. Patiently waiting creates endurance in us and builds trust with our Father. David waited for long periods for answers to prayer. Though he faced doubt and fear, his prayers were never ceasing. He never gave up hope (verse 1).
In our sorrow, I want you to know that God always hears us. He answers exactly when He's supposed to—never early or late, though it may not look like what we anticipated. This is because He goes beyond our dimensions and understanding of time and space. If it's not good yet, He's not done. There's better in store. Even for things like healing. And even when these things take time, and we wade in dark and muddy waters, we can trust He's with us (verse 2).
In your pain, I want you to know that He's gracious and pulls us from those slimy places. We can praise Him for that, even while we're still waiting for deliverance. As David pens, we stand firm on the Rock. That Rock is Jesus Christ. The Rock is immovable. Solid. Firm. Steadfast. True (verse 3).
Even if we're shaky, we stand firm on that Rock. Even if we're confused, hurting, and heartbroken, we stand firm on that Rock. Not because of anything we've done, but because of who He is and what He's done. He is good (verse 4).
Perhaps the best part about these verses is this: As we stand firm, Christ gives us a new song to sing. And when people see us and what God's brought us through, "many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in Him" (verse 3). That means that even though what you and I have experienced (including painful things), our story of Christ's redemptive work through us can lead others to salvation. What a beautiful illustration of the gospel story, one I think most people don't recognize.
Not Another Cliche
Many people, myself included, have believed the Christian cliche that "Everything happens for a reason." This isn't biblical or true. It invalidates the pain the person is currently experiencing. God can use all things for our good (Romans 8:28), but not everything comes from Him.
God created our world. Some parts are wide, vast, and beautiful. But when sin entered the world, this became Satan's playground. God still reigns, but this world in which we live is no longer our home. It's fragmented and broken. God can still intervene, do miracles, and bless us through horrible circumstances, but that wasn't His original design. That's why Heaven is our home. A place where suffering, pain, tragedy, and trauma will no longer exist.
An alternative to "Everything happens for a reason," is allowing the person to process their pain. Then try offering a gentle phrase like, “I’m sorry you’re having to go through this.” This statement validates that what the person is going through is hard and shows you care.
It's my prayer that when you hear "for the good," you hear validation in your pain but also purpose and triumph in your future. I don't want you to hear "for the good" as a Christian cliche. I want you to hear that God loves you, sees your pain, and cares. But He's such a good God that He can turn anything horrible you've felt and experienced and use it for good. To transform your life and the lives of others.
Agape, Amber
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/kieferpix
