As women, we have this beautiful ability to compare in a way that will allow us to encourage, support, and praise one another. So, let’s strive to let our comparisons come from a place of humility, gratefulness, and compassion.
Last week we took a little trip as a family, and while it was so nice to get away, it was also filled with several bumps and blunders making my momma’s heart become rather annoyed and flustered. So, all in all, by the end, I was ready for another vacation, preferably more restful and relaxing, maybe on a beach somewhere with a good book – all alone!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I truly love my people. But after piling three onery girls along with an elderly dog that has arthritis into a cramped car only to deal with continual bickering and the nauseating smell of dreadful dog farts for three hours, this momma was done! Done!
So, I present you with a choice: hectic family vacay or relaxing beach trip sans kids? Which would you choose? As you well know, they both come with a list of pros and cons. Yet, based on my story, I bet most would choose the latter. But what if I said that the beautiful beach trip came with jellyfish galore and a tug at your momma heart that whispered, “I really wish the little ones were here to see this,” every time you laid eyes on the breathtaking sunset?
The truth is that hindsight is always twenty-twenty, and comparisons are sort of like that too.
Let me explain:
Comparison Isn’t Always the “Thief”
Whether we know it or not, we compare all the time. We are practically forced to with every decision. For instance, when choosing a family pet, will it be a dog or a cat? With schooling options, will we homeschool or opt for public school? Do we want to take a trip to the beach or mountains? With or without kids? You get the picture.
While not all comparisons will be this simple or black and white, we still play this little comparison game, maybe even pray about it, and then pick what we feel is best or what we believe we are being led to do. In other words, we make a choice and live with it. Sometimes it feels good, and other times, well… not so much.
The point is, when we hear the word “comparison,” it really doesn’t come with a positive connotation or have an altogether great ring to it. Instead, the natural and immediate reaction is bent towards thinking comparison is the thief that is stealing all our joy! But, that isn’t exactly biblical. The adage, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” is a quote from Former President Theodore Roosevelt, insinuating that life mustn’t be measured next to our peers as we will always be chasing down happiness.
Maybe this statement was coined from the verse found in 2 Corinthians 10:12 when Paul is being ridiculed and compared to false teachers. He clearly didn’t want to play into the hype of the cultural comparison games and surely wasn’t in Corinth to win a popularity contest or gain followers. He was there to win over hearts for the Lord.
Maybe this is how we should view comparison. Instead of seeing comparisons as the thief that comes to steal our joy, we shift our mindset a bit and see that it is more about a choice where we can either embrace humility, gratefulness, resilience, and compassion or cling to resentment, bitterness, anger, pride, and jealousy.
Comparison Can Be Sneaky
Remember Eve? You know the first beauty that walked this Earth and gets so much flak for condemning the world. Yes, her. Poor thing. She was the first one to be tempted with comparison. And, while she didn’t handle it very well, she offers us a powerful and purposeful lesson.
One minute, she’s minding her own business and then in creeps this snake, offering her a very tempting offer. At that moment, she was force to choose between gaining a wealth of knowledge or obeying God’s command (Genesis 2:3-7). Pretty sure, she went over a mental checklist and the comparison weighed heavy on her heart, but in a split decision, she was led to seek after the thing that ultimately separated her and her husband from God (Genesis 3:13).
The same happens to us. When we fall into comparison that stirs us to bend towards sin, it ultimately separates us, (and, sometimes, others based on our choices), from God.
So, just how can comparison creep in, capture our attention, and ultimately sway us to sin? Here are three common ways:
1. Our plans become more important than seeking God’s will (Jeremiah 29:11).
2. When we seek approval from others over God’s approval (Galatians 1:10).
3. We covet or want what others have (Exodus 20:17).
How Satan Still Tempts Us Today
Satan may not be tempting us with tantalizing apples, but he is never short of tricks, and comparison is one way he loves to target us! Just as he went to Eve first, I believe he attacks our hearts as women in a brutal, crafty, and cunning way.
From the eerily and quiet way he draws us in with that social media post of the mom making homemade bread and baby food in her quaint and homey kitchen to scrolling through old pictures, triggering memories of the simple past. While these could each be a humble comparison that grows us as wives, moms, and women, the liar sets our eyes on envy and remorse.
The liar will lead you to believe that other women have it so much easier, that other moms are doing it so much better, that everyone else’s marriage is full of roses and romance, and that your fellow sisters in Christ must have way more faith than you do, which is why their lives appear so spiritually full, perfect, lovely, and holy.
This is the sneaky way in which the deceiver uses comparison and attacks the nature of our delicate hearts. He whispers that we should be a version of ourselves we were never meant to be, to yearn for approval, likes, and follows from others, all while causing us to secretly become jealous, bitter, and resentful of others.
Not only that, but he digs up our past, paralyzes our present, and tries so hard to demolish our future. He will have us compare our struggles and hardships, and even our faith to friends, family, mentors, and other beautiful women, all the while laughing as we take the bait of that dreadful (and sinful) comparison game where he is pulling all the strings.
Here's the Truth
Friend, here is the truth you need to tuck into your heart: As a woman, you are the pinnacle of beauty. Yes, that’s right! You are a sight to behold, a captivating and radiant gem to love, cherish, treasure, and adore. You were created to feel this incredible and perfect love. But, the world won’t supply what you truly need. The love you desperately crave can only come from God. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, will compare to that!
So, when comparisons in any shape or form creep in, take those thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5), and ask yourself these three questions:
1. Is this comparison glorifying God?
2. Is this comparison making me want to be a better version of myself, modeling Christ?
3. Is this comparison hurting my heart or others?
As women, we have this beautiful ability to compare in a way that will allow us to encourage, support, and praise one another. So, let’s strive to let our comparisons come from a place of humility, gratefulness, and compassion.
Will you pray with me, sweet sister?
Father, You are so very good, and Your love never ceases to amaze us. Please remind us, Your daughters, of Your unfailing love when we give way to sneaky comparisons that fester up wounds that stoke ill feelings. Give us a heart that longs to compare in a way to grow our faith and draw closer to You. Help us learn to lean into one another and offer love and support to each other as Your beloved daughters and cherished women. We ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Related Resource: Do You Have Gym Class Trauma Impacting Your Body Image Issues?
In this episode of the Compared to Who? Podcast, host Heather Creekmore digs into how our experiences in gym class may be impacting our body image issue today. Did you get picked last for the teams? Did you hate getting hit by the dodgeball or wearing gym uniforms or changing with the other girls? Did a teacher weigh you and then call out the number for the whole class to hear? Many who wrestle with body image issues are still struggling with the trauma of what they were told or believed was true about us in gym class! Today Heather reminisces through the various angles of this issue and offers encouragement for anyone still suffering from gym class trauma.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/fizkes
