The thought of a woman tearing down her house with her bare knuckles sounds outrageous. Aren't we all striving to build great families? We aspire to have thriving marriages and raise God-fearing, responsible children - the salt of the earth. So when we catch wind of someone who deliberately demolishes their house to the ground, we gasp in shock. Something has to be totally out of place with such a woman, and the Bible is clear on the problem- she is wrapped up in folly.
“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” (Proverbs 14:1)
It takes wisdom to build a home. And while the wise woman is on a building spree, the foolish one exerts her energy to demolish her home. But how does she do that, you may ask? Here are four ways in which she goes about it.
1. She Despises Wisdom
“Through wisdom, a house is built, and by understanding it is established. By knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.” (Proverbs 24:3-4)
“Wisdom is the principal thing, therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding. Exalt her, and she will promote you, she will bring you honor, when you embrace her. She will place on your head an ornament of grace. A crown of glory she will deliver to you.” (Proverbs 4:7-9)
The first undoing of the foolish woman is that she disregards wisdom. The only way to build a formidable home is through wisdom. Scripture implores us to get wisdom and understanding even if it costs us all we have. We are not to spare any effort or expense in our quest for wisdom. When we embrace wisdom, we sign up for honor and elevation.
King David observed that unless the Lord builds a house, they labor in vain that build it. The foolish woman labors in vain because she does not invoke godly wisdom, thus allowing God to make her house. When we embrace wisdom, we emulate the wise builder who built their house on the rock. When the rain fell, the floods came, and the wind beat upon the house, the house remained intact because it was founded on the rock.
On the other hand, the foolish builder puts their house on sand. Such a house topples over with a great thud when the rains, wind, and floods beat against it (Mathew 7:24-27). We cannot substitute wisdom for any other building material in building our homes. The foolish woman disregards godly wisdom and sets her house up for a downfall.
But what does godly wisdom look like? James observes that whoever claims to be wise and understanding should exhibit good conduct alongside works done in the meekness of wisdom. He then defines godly wisdom as being pure, peaceful, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.
On the contrary, worldly wisdom (which amounts to folly) exudes bitter envy, self-seeking, lying, confusion, and every evil thing (James 3:13-17). The foolish woman’s house doesn't stand a chance with such building materials. It caves in at the slightest push and shove.
2. She Nags Her Husband
The Merriam-Webster dictionary describes nagging as persistently annoying or finding fault with someone. Wives are more prone to nagging because they naturally feel responsible for the smooth functioning of the home. They easily spot any dysfunctions in the home and want them smoothed immediately. Other times, wives nag when they feel unheard and taken for granted in the relationship.
Nagging is a counterproductive way for a wife to communicate with her husband. However justified a wife may feel for her nagging, Scripture expressly frowns at the practice. Proverbs 21:9 states that it is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
Think of how uncomfortable the corner of a housetop is. Yet a man would rather put up there than be in the company of his nagging wife. Further, Proverbs 27:15 states that a quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm. The initial drops of rain through a leaking roof may appear harmless. But as the rain continues to pound on the roof, more and more water seeps through and wreaks havoc on the house.
From the Scriptures, nagging is another way a foolish woman tears down her house with her own hands.
Related:
5 Ways to Tell if You Are a Nagging Wife
5 Truths I Learned about Being a Nagging Wife
3. She Is Lazy and Neglects Her Household
“She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31: 27
A wise woman does not laze around the entire day, flipping TV channels or scrolling on Instagram. She works with her hands to provide and take care of her family. Many Scriptures warn us against being lazy. Perhaps the most piercing one is when Paul instructed the Church that whoever was unwilling to work should not eat (2 Thessalonians 3:10). In other words, it's okay to allow a lazy person to starve.
After healing a sick man on Sabbath, the Jews were incensed and sought to kill Jesus. Jesus remarked that His father was always working, and He too had to work (John 5:1-17). God does not excuse laziness and wants both men and women to be busy and productive.
The virtuous woman described in Proverbs 31 willingly works with her hands. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and a portion for her maidservants. Moreover, from her profits, she buys a field and plants a vineyard. This woman goes the whole nine yards in taking care of her household, and she is to be emulated.
A wise woman will also ensure that her home is clean and organized, there's healthy, nutritious food, the children are tended to, etc. On the other hand, a foolish woman's home is devoid of order. Paul instructed that older women should teach the younger women to be homemakers (Titus 2: 4-5).
This doesn't mean that the woman has to attend to all the chores in the house. She may not necessarily be the one cleaning the dishes, cooking, or folding laundry, but she is to ensure that all these tasks are done. She provides oversight and ensures there's order and tranquility in her household.
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4. She Disrespects and Does Not Submit to Her Husband
Paul admonished wives to submit to their own husbands in everything, just as the Church is subject to Christ (Ephesians 5:22-24). A foolish woman couldn't be bothered to submit to her husband. She does not appreciate that her husband is God’s designated authority over her. She will want to manipulate and control him. She will disrespect him, defying God's instruction for wives to respect their husbands. One sign of a woman who does not submit to her husband is when she is always resisting his will.
This makes her husband feel undermined and dejected. A foolish woman tears her husband down with disrespect and lack of submission. Proverbs 12:4 states that an excellent wife is her husband's crown, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones. While God designed the wife to be a helper to her husband, a foolish woman causes her husband grief. Additionally, a woman who disrespects her husband causes the word of God to be blasphemed (Titus 2:5).
Originally published Tuesday, 20 February 2024.
